Friday, May 25, 2018

THE POSITIVE SIDE OF EXPERIENCING ADVERSITY


THE POSITIVE SIDE OF EXPERIENCING ADVERSITY
BY: STEPHANIE ANNE ALLEN

I’ve experienced more adversity in my life than someone who is twice my age!  Been through the darkest and scariest times ever.  There were many years I thought I would not survive.  I believed I was destined to die by my own hands or those of the people I thought wanted me dead.  But with the grace of God, I survived, and I learned to embrace my pain and turn it around into something good, something special, and something worthy.
It all began early in my life.  I went through depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and borderline personality disorder.  I was a complete mess emotionally and mentally.  I survived a variety of symptoms including suicidal thoughts and attempts.   And I also dealt with hallucinations and delusions.  My thoughts were affected and so were my moods.
The depressed times were lonely and dark.  I was also a cutter on top of that.  I remember just begging God to take my life because I just couldn’t deal with the extreme mental mess I had become.  The manic times put others lives at risk.  And the psychotic times could have seriously injured or killed many people. 
I was psychiatrically hospitalized about 20 times in my life and this does not even include the six years I spent at a residential facility.  After I went completely insane and lost my mind, I had to spend over 2 months in jail and a year and a half at a psychiatric prison. 
There were so many times I believed that God just didn’t care, and He wasn’t going to help me.  No one would.  I could not comprehend why God would inflict me with such terrible mental illnesses.  I blamed Him completely for my life being in shambles.  I believed He just didn’t care or love me.   I began to feel like Job had in the Bible.  I was so lost and unable to function in society.
For over half my life I lived in fear.  I felt I would either kill myself and that someone out there would kill me.  Living in fear everyday for so many years is very difficult.  Living in a mental state such as I had, could have killed me or worse, others.   But God began to work miracles in my life when I least expected it.
I could have spent 20 years in prison.  I could have had to stay at the forensics center forever.  I could have been released on a contract.  I could have ended up homeless.  But God took care of me.  And He helped me to obtain a better life!
He brought me through it all.  God helped me find the strength, courage, hope, and faith to overcome it all and achieve a state of mental stability that I hadn’t had since childhood.  And now I am giving back and helping others who suffer like I have.  I have written 5 books on mental health topics.  One memoir and 4 self-help books.  I aim to inspire others through my stories and life experience, and I have.  I have gotten numerous comments from readers who tell me how much of an inspiration I am to them.  One even went as far as to call me her hero. In addition, I have become a NAMI Connections Recovery Support Group Facilitator. 
I now have hopes and dreams for the future.  They may not be what I had planned for my life, which was becoming an oncologist and finding the cure for cancer, but these are the hopes and dreams that God has for me.  It is His will that I must accept.  He wants me to write and help others with mental illness.  And so what choice do I have but to accept God’s will for my life.
I would never be the person I am today without going through all that adversity and pain.  I would never be able to empathize with others.  I would never have the compassion for others that I now do.  Adversity has strengthened my character and made me into a better person.  And that was God’s plan.  He turned my pain into hope.  Hope for my own life and hope for the lives of others.  God is good!
Please remember that even though you think you cannot overcome the pain and make it through, know that you can.  That pain you are feeling now, will be a very humbling experience.  God is molding you into a much greater person.  And that is what He has done for me. . .  Thank you, Lord!

To take a look at all my books, please visit my author page!

Books include:
My Mental Madness Memoir
How to Survive Depression
How to Survive Bipolar Disorder
How to Survive Schizophrenia
How to Survive Anxiety