Mary B. was just a mere 15 years old when she was given the diagnosis of Paranoid Schizophrenia. This label seemed to make the disease itself worse. She felt like an outcast and a "socially unacceptable" misfit. But today at 38 years old, she has evolved from the stigma and is giving back by helping others in similar situations.
It all began with a broken family and her grandparents taking on the responsibility of raising her. Her grandparents began having problems with getting Mary to go to bed at night. She only wanted to stay awake and became obsessed with doing her homework all night and folding her clothes continuously in a meticulous matter. Mary would be described at that time an insomniac, a perfectionist, and an obsessive compulsive person.
Upset with her grandpa's rules and suffering from severe sleep deprivation, Mary B. called the police who took her to a psychiatric hospital for admission. She stayed there for 7 days.
At age 16, Mary, who was highly upset by having her grandparents raise her, ran away and went to a motel. She began hearing voices through the walls. They were haunting her and telling her to "go away". Being mentally unstable and out of control, she "trashed" the motel room and threw her keys out into the parking lot. The cops were called. Mary went to the door half naked and the cops had assumed she was doing crack. They instructed her to leave the hotel at once.
At age 17, she attempted to work as a dishwasher. But it was a constant struggle for her to do this job or any job. She reported to me that she threw her first paycheck off a bridge and that she never cashed any of her checks. She recalls seeing a grim reaper and a devil with a machete under the bridge. She tells me that it was a "dark, shadowy image".
At age 18, she dropped out of high school because she thought everybody was talking about her. She recalls feeling like a "loner".
She mentions to me that at age 20 she was walking down the street. And that at this time the voices were talking to her, saying that one side of the street was "godly" while the other was evil. Mary remembers empting her wallet behind a bush. Then she stripped off all her clothes and went running through the woods. She thought she was Jesus Christ. She returned to the road and the cops came and took her to a mental hospital. There she was placed on anti-psychotic medication.
At age 21, she recalls an incident were she was extremely suicidal and rode her bike 8 miles to the hospital. Then they admitted her and placed her on an anti-depressant as well.
Mary describes her struggle with mental illness as "very hard and scary" She said she lost a lot of sleep and was having "nerve problems". Even today, Mary states that the "meds don't help all the way". She said "recovery was great! I took my meds to stop the symptoms from coming back. And I am going to continue to take my medications to keep me healthy!"
Thanks to Mary B. for sharing her story with us!
Please look out for the next book in the How to Survive Series. It is called How to Survive Schizophrenia!
Best Wishes,
--Stephanie
