STORY OF
HOPE
My name is
Stephanie Anne Allen, and I am the new, quickly emerging author of My Mental
Madness Memoir and the entire How to Survive Series. I am also a NAMI Connections peer support group
facilitator. I am very content, and I
feel successful and that my life has purpose and worth. I am grateful for my life. But it wasn’t always this way. I came from a long journey of very difficult
battles with mental illness.
I was first
diagnosed with depression at age 14. At
that time, there was a horrible stigma attached to mental illness. I didn’t want to be any part of it. I was not “crazy”. I remember
growing up thinking I was bad and I felt ashamed for being depressed. But it was obvious to everyone, whether “crazy”
of not, I was definitely sick. I
suffered from helplessness, hopelessness, unworthiness, suicidal
thoughts/attempts, and self-mutilation, among other symptoms.
A few years
later, I was labeled as a manic depressive.
I would suffer racing thoughts, impulsive decisions, risky behaviors,
and insomnia. That diagnosis soon became
a dual diagnosis, when I was defined as a borderline personality patient. I had difficulties making and keeping
friends. I was cutting and burning
myself.
A few years
after that, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and then
schizophrenia. I was suffering from intense delusions and hallucinations of all
five senses.
Mental
illness has impacted my life in many ways.
I lost friends, relationships, jobs, cars, homes, and even my own
freedom. But despite all the pain, all
the heartache, all the adversity, I was able to beat all the given odds by
finding the courage, strength, faith, and hope to overcome it all.
I have been
in treatment since I was a teenager, but unfortunately treatment is not always
effective with every patient. There are
so many different medications out there, and so many of them wouldn’t work on
me or had horrible side effects. Today,
there are a lot of new psychotherapies available that simply did not exist when
I was a child. And then there’s that
stigma again that causes people to feel guilt and shame for seeking treatment for
an illness that is not their fault.
I have had
several turning points and many downfalls in my life. But the last turning point was definitely the
most life-changing. After committing a
crime when I was insane, I took a look at myself and studied my thoughts and
behaviors and attempted to adjust what needed to be changed. After being incarcerated at a state hospital
for 18 months, you better have gotten some insight and introspection into
yourself. But I believe the turning point
for everyone can be different. For some
it may be almost losing your life to suicide or some other major incident that
causes a person to reflect on his/her own thought processes.
My own
personal treatment consisted of medications and psychotherapy. Finding the right meds is surely a trial and
error thing. But at age 36, I was
finally stabilized. I would much rather
take a pill or two a day, than suffer the pain and heartache and unrest I had
when I was sick. The meds keep me stable
and help me to live a better life.
Currently, I
am doing great! I am working on correcting
all my mistakes, and picking up all the pieces.
It’s not easy, but it’s what I feel needs to be done. I have now found my purpose in life and that
is to inspire as many people as possible.
If my story saves just one life (and it has) then my life truly has
value, purpose, and worth.
If I had not
suffered…If I had not been in mental pain and agony…If I had not learned how to
endure…I would not be who I am today. I
have gained much compassion, empathy, understanding, and wisdom. The pain shaped me into who I am today.
I will
continue taking my medications exactly as prescribed. I will seek help immediately if I feel in
crisis (hopefully never again). The sooner you catch the problem, the sooner
you can receive treatment, and the sooner you will feel better.
I am
involved in mental health advocacy. I am
a NAMI Connections peer support group facilitator. I am also the author of seven books on
conquering mental illness…one memoir and six self-help books.
·
My
Mental Madness Memoir—the provocative true journey through my struggles with
mental illness
·
How
to Survive Depression
·
How
to Survive Bipolar Disorder
·
How
to Survive Schizophrenia
·
How
to Survive Anxiety
·
How
to Survive Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
·
How
to Survive PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder)
Also, I am
all over social media with positive uplifting and inspirational posts on
overcoming mental illness! You can find
me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Tumblr, Goodreads, Amazon, Google
+, Lyf, Pinterest, and I even post on NAMI.
I also have a mental health blog.
Feel free to check me out on any of those…
Mailing
list: http://eepurl.com/dd5jYj
MY MESSAGE TO THOSE WORKING ON THEIR
RECOVERY FROM MENTAL ILLNESS
Life isn’t
easy, and when you have mental illness that has a huge impact on your every day
living. You may feel lost. You may feel alone. You may feel that no one cares. But I want you to know that YOU are worth
fighting for. YOU are worth getting
well. YOU have value and worth and your
goal in life is to find your purpose, and work diligently towards fulfilling
it. You have a reason to be alive. The hardest part is finding it. But once you do, you will be so glad you did.
First you need to recover so that you work towards finding that purpose. Don’t listen to the stigma. Listen to your heart. Your heart definitely wants and needs to be
well again. Have enough self-love and
faith in yourself to seek out the proper help you may need. You don’t have to go it alone. And once you get that treatment and recover,
you will be so happy that you began your journey of recovery in the first
place. Never give up… as YOUR LIFE
awaits you.
