Turning the Horror of Mental Illness into Positivity and Inspiration
OBJECTIVE
My pen name
is Stephanie Anne Allen, and I am writing this post to bring hope and
inspiration to all those with mental illness.
I want to be a prime example of how you can not only survive the
greatest of adversities, but you can also thrive. You can turn the pain into something very positive
and productive.
MY STORY
I’ve been diagnosed
with many different mental illnesses over the years. They include depression,
bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, borderline
personality disorder, and an anxiety disorder. The psychiatrists tried nearly every
medication available out there on me. Most
medications didn’t work and the ones that did, had bad side effects. I struggled for years and tried endlessly to
make sense of my own existence. I was in
and out of psych hospitals all my life. I tried to commit suicide several times and
was addicted to self-mutilation. All I
wanted and longed for was death. There
just seemed to be no hope out there, and I felt like no one even cared about
me. I felt totally lonely and ashamed
for having “mental problems”.
When I was
manic, I had racing thoughts, impulsive and risky behaviors, and I had
delusions of grandeur. I had major trouble
sleeping and had an excess amount of energy.
My moods shifting rapidly from one extreme to the other—up and down,
just like a roller coaster.
When I was
psychotic, I suffered from delusions of all sorts and from hallucinations of
all 5 senses. I thought I was the “savior
of medical science”. I even believed at
one point that I was the “second-coming of Christ”. I saw, felt, tasted, heard, and smelled
things that weren’t really there. I believed
I was going to be killed and raped by perpetrators, and this lasted from 2005
to 2016. Can you even imagine living for
the fear of your safety and your very life for 11 years? Not easy.
Anyways, having
mental illness caused me to lose everything accept my own life! I lost friendships, relationships, jobs,
cars, homes, and even my freedom at several points. I committed a crime due to my insanity, and
while being locked up I got my life back together.
HOW I TURNED MY LIFE AROUND
It was not
easy, but I managed to go from rock bottom all the way to the top. I found the courage, strength, faith, and
hope I needed to overcome the greatest of odds.
I realized
finally, while incarcerated, that I indeed was mentally ill and that it was
nothing to be ashamed of. The doctors stabilized
me on meds and I was able to get the therapeutic treatment I needed. I learned about what causes me to get to that
point of psychosis. Stress was a key! So, I now know I cannot stress myself
out. I have to do things at my own pace. I have learned coping skills for when I feel
stressed. I gained much insight into my
mental illness and how I can “deal” effectively with the symptoms as they present
themselves.
I realized
that I am not alone. I am a worthwhile
person with purpose who deserves dignity and respect. I am on this Earth for a reason. The greatest love of all is self-love. Never give up! Everything happens for a reason. Never lose faith and hope!
MY LIFE TODAY
Today, I am
39-years-old, but I have the wisdom of an 80 year old woman. After being released from the state hospital,
I have written seven books in under two years.
One memoir and six self-help books.
My Mental
Madness Memoir is a deep look into my mind.
You can learn my whole life story in depth and clarity. It is a very emotion-provoking book. The reader is taken on a journey through the
insanity. Readers can take full participation
into the author’s thoughts and feelings.
It is quite unique, because I hide absolutely nothing. This is an extremely real, one-of-a-kind,
page-turning book. You will see me at my
very best and feel my joy, but you will also feel my pain and see how I persevered
through it all.
I have also
written the How to Survive Series. Out currently
are ones on depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety, borderline
personality disorder, and PTSD. These powerful
self-help books offer the reader insight and inspiration. They provide hope and tips on how to effectively
cope.
I have
inspired hundreds of people through these books! I love that I am now very happy and have
found my calling and purpose in this life.
Without all the pain and adversity, I would have never accomplished
that. I would not be the person I am
today. I have gained a great deal more
compassion, love, empathy, understanding, and wisdom.
I did suffer,
and I suffered terribly, but I turned it all around and now I am using the pain
for the benefit of those who are going through all that I have. I have made a great life from a very rocky
foundation. But I did it. And you can too! You can become and do
anything you want in your life. The
opportunities are endless. Make your
life one that will never be forgotten!
About the author
Stephanie Anne
Allen is the quickly emerging author of My Mental Madness Memoir, How to
Survive Depression, How to Survive Bipolar Disorder, How to Survive
Schizophrenia, How to Survive Anxiety, How to Survive Borderline Personality Disorder
(BPD), and How to Survive PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder). She holds a BA in clinical psychology and is
a former case manager for the mentally ill.
She also has a lifetime of personal experience with mental illness. Ms. Allen
is also a NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) peer support group facilitator.
